My First Insomniac Experience: Nocturnal Wonderland 2012

Imagine yourself standing in front of a looming, colorful banner with the words “Welcome to Nocturnal Wonderland” plastered across it. Your friends, unable to contain their excitement, pull you along behind them as you reach the front gate. You rummage through your bag to find your ticket and hand it to the Insomniac volunteer, who greets you with a sincere smile. Butterflies dance in your stomach—you don’t have the slightest idea what you are about to walk into, and all you can do is trust that your experienced friends won’t lead you astray. Once your ticket has been scanned and your bag checked, you walk toward the bizarrely costumed performers who welcome you with smiles and usher you through the gates. You have entered Nocturnal Wonderland.

With every step, the enticing sound of thumping bass grows louder and louder. Thousands of energetic festivalgoers walk, run and bounce around in vibrant costumes, bright wigs and bedazzled bras. Your senses are overwhelmed by the immense, decorative stages that hold promise of a show you will never forget. You feel certain that something big is going to happen tonight, and you can’t wait to find out what’s in store.

As you make your way into the main stage crowd, your nervousness begins to melt away, quickly replaced by the most intense adrenalin rush of your life. Your worries drift away; you have departed reality completely. The current DJ act, trance trio Above & Beyond, has every single audience member mesmerized. You feel each beat of the music pulsing through your veins, and every beautiful lyric touches the very depths of your soul. Even though you’re surrounded by thousands of unfamiliar faces, you don’t feel like a stranger. Everyone sings at the top of their lungs, hands stretched toward the sky, radiating happiness from head to toe. You’re filled with too many emotions to comprehend. You can’t articulate what has happened, but you know one thing: You never want this perfect night to end.

You will never be able to fully express the feelings you experienced that night. But something has changed within you permanently. From that point on, life without EDM seems mediocre and mundane; you live for the moments of mind-blowing bass, beautiful lyrics, blinding lights, and the people who share the same unique and burning passion for EDM culture as you.

Nothing can compare to that moment when it finally clicks—when you realize that EDM is not just about how hard the bass drops, how many kandi bracelets you can fit on your arms, or how many awesome pictures you can post on Instagram the day after. The EDM world is a safe haven—a place of genuine acceptance and love, a place to escape reality for a little while, and a place to discover yourself.

For me, Nocturnal Wonderland 2012 was the start of something irreversible. I have attended dozens of events since then, and my collection of festival memories is always growing. Yet, nothing will ever quite compare to those feelings I first encountered deep within the crowd at Above & Beyond’s set. In the words of Mat Zo’s “The Sky,” “I know that I have found home.”